
The Doctor Is In
Greetings all.
This will be a short one today.
This week has been crazy busy, and after work today I have to run home, shower and then drive up to Brooklyn to DJ, so I expect to be exhausted for most of the weekend.
As I was wasting time this AM, I happened upon a chart listing the caffeine content of a wide variety of sodas. As I am a prodigious abuser of this most legal of chemical life enhancements, my interest was piqued.
Well, after registering an initial level of shock that my chosen poison (Diet Mountain Dew) was not at the top of the list, the lotus unfolded a little bit more when I scrolled down to view the other categories of soft drink, where my tired brain was jolted back onto the tracks by a veritable cornucopia of wildly named off-brand sodas.
I’ve always gotten a chuckle at the sorry lack of imagination that is apparently at work when big chains “create” their own knock offs of Dr. Pepper, especially WalMart’s Dr. Thunder. However, I had no idea that the faux-Doctor industry was so widespread.
Take a look at the list below and marvel at the field of unaccredited physicians crowding the shelves in the race to quench your thirst.
Diet Dr. Wham
Dr. Wham
Pibb Zero
Pibb Xtra
Dr IGAa
Diet Dr Pop
Dr Pop
Dr K
Diet Dr K
Dr Topper
Dr Publix
Dr Bob
Mr. Pibb
Diet Dr Bob
Dr Thunder
Dr Chill
Diet Dr Thunder
Dr Chek
Diet Dr Chek
Dr Lynn
Dr Perky
Diet Dr Lynn
Personally, I’m the most intrigued by Dr. Perky, which I’m guessing comes with a nipple instead of the standard cap.
The real treat for me was the list of Mountain Dew knock offs, which reads like a bulletin from the DEA on newly created, high-powered strains of marijuana and/or Ecstasy.
Diet SunDrop
Vault Citrus
SunDrop
Faygo Moon Mist
Chek Kountry Mist
Ramp Red
IGA Spring Mist
Publix Citrus Hite
Ramp
Mountain Chill
Chek Red Alert
Mountain Holler
Mountain Yeller
Clover Valley Citrus Drop
Sam’s Mountain Lightning
Chek Diet Kountry Mist
Mountain Lion
Laura Lynn Mt. Moon Drops
Big K Citrus Drop
Big K Diet Citrus Drop
Not much of substance I know, but something to mull over while you’re grilling, chilling, but hopefully not illing.
Have a great weekend.
Peace
Larry

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I’ll vouch for Sun Drop, great stuff. Hell, it may be about as old as Mountain Dew, itself. I remember getting it as a kid on vacation in Wisconsin. I still buy one almost any time I see it.
Oh, Sun Drop in a glass bottle? Can’t be beat.
My favorite Mt. Dew knock off ever is Hy Vee grocery store’s “Hee Haw,” available in 3 liter bottles. Yikes.
Here is a rather extensive list of PHD holders…
http://www.marion.ohio-state.edu/fac/schul/drp/aj.html
Does anyone else remember KIST besides me?
Dr. Pop is really good, I always get it a Save-a-lot.
Sun Drop was around long before mountain dew so mountain dew is a knock off of Sun Drop.
I stand corrected…